Dark days are hard. Some days you don't want to get off the sofa. Some you don't want to get dressed, shower, or even eat. On those days it is important to remember that they are not permanent. That being a robot and going in to survival mode is okay. But how can you really get through these dark days with grace and come out the other side a better person?
Patience. Patience, in my opinion, is one of the most difficult virtues to accept, let alone master.
Here comes these feelings. Feeling bitter and put out when your home is uninhabitable. The moments of knowing your home isn't safe and honestly, patience is probably the last thing on your mind. How can you be patient when you're not safe? The reality is that none of the issues are being fixed quickly or in some cases even properly. It is not going to be fixed over night. No matter how much you want everything to be fixed, it just isn't getting there quick enough and we need to allow patience to enter our lives during difficult times. Patience with ourselves, our family, and the people we are working with.
Patience for yourself when you are in a dark place is crucial. Feeling down and out, broken and hopeless, frustrated and stressed is something that may happen and be unavoidable. So in addition to any professional help you may need, learning patience with yourself can give you the grace you need to get through the day. Patience with your family can be particularly tough when you are tired, depressed, or anxious. As a parent I have had to suck up a lot of those feelings and not let my kids see how bad I am really feeling. It IS NOT easy but that makes it even more important to practice patience within our families.
So what can we do to get more patience? Give up something small that is stressing you or over burdening you-- maybe this is extra chores, getting an entire to-do list done, volunteering, etc. Some people thrive on stress and being constantly busy and others don't. Gauge your load and see if it can be lightened and where. Another way to increase your patience is to give yourself "me time." Time away from your daily cares can help you find some joy and can be rejuvenating. If you're one who hates being alone or it causes you to be more depressed, maybe your "me time" can be getting out of the house with a friend. For some people, inspiring books, talks, and podcasts, or even gospel material can be enlightening during dark days.
Being patient with people working on your home is not an excuse to let them slide at their work. Being patient doesn't mean it is okay to let work go undone or be done improperly. It does not mean that you don't matter because YOU DO MATTER. Your family, your service, and your health matter. In the darkest days you need to find the hope and motivation to make everything better. Lots of advocates have your back and are willing to help or support you. Patience in the situation, with yourself, and with others can ease the burden we feel on our darkest days and make the journey lighter. And this is a journey. Senate hearings happen maybe a couple of times a year. Nothing has been passed of significance for 2020 yet. Town halls happen a few times a year, unfortunately on short notice. Local change isn't happening quickly. I have hope everything will improve and get better, but today is not that day. Yet.
Have the patience to know that getting through the crap means there is hope on the other side. There IS hope on the other side. Patience is for your benefit, not theirs.
Hope this helps,
B&R
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