Yeah. We've heard that a lot. If you are stuck in base housing we hear you. We feel the pain of wanting out. It is HARD. If someone had asked why we don't just move, we might have punched them. We get very fixed ideas of what we want and it is hard to break that idea in our minds. We sat and worried about how to get a place that was similar in size, allowed pets, and would hopefully not bankrupt us on first, last, and security deposits.
If you have ever been the person to say that, we understand you are probably coming at the situation with a good heart. Why wouldn't we just leave an awful home behind? Why would we hesitate? Well, base housing is a sticky trap. Our first orders were given to us with about 3 weeks notice while my husband was in Mississippi and I was in Utah. Neither of us could fly in advance to find housing. We called and were put on the base housing list asap so they would have something for us. We paid no deposit, first, last, nothing. We moved right in and they began drawing their allotment straight from his paycheck. It was easy and we weren't homeless on such short notice. We had been living in a 1000 sq ft condo prior to enlisting and we knew we needed something that size or maybe larger when we moved. That is not an unrealistic expectation for a family of 5 plus a dog. There were townhomes we could afford off base, but those up front fees were a no-go for us at that time and utilities would have put us over our housing allotment. It is hard and base housing makes it easy.
We were new to the area again when we came to Oklahoma. We had a good enough experience in Virginia that we never considered living off base. With a three year assignment we knew buying was not a good idea. For many they can buy because their orders are for longer or they plan on staying in the area. It just wasn't for us. We showed up to a nightmare home with no plan B. We scrambled for days trying to figure out what to do. We had about $1000 in savings that could cover first month's rent elsewhere in a city where we knew no one and nothing of the area other than the base. We spent a week panicking. Had we known what we were about to encounter and the hell we were going to go through, we would have made other drastic choices prior to moving in. Anyone would have. Isn't hindsight lovely? We would have gotten a loan or credit card to get a temporary apartment/townhouse until we could figure out a long-term solution.
Not everyone can afford to pay a loan off just to get out of housing. Or drain a savings account. Or wait for tax refunds. Nor should they have to. Many cities do not have affordable housing near bases. Many families have one car and the commute would not be feasible for them. Many are young enlisted service members who don't know any better or have any experience in the areas of renting, contracts, etc. Many bases have unsafe areas surrounding them and service members can't or shouldn't live off base. Many families require certain services that are only available on base. From the outside it looks like a list of excuses why families don't just pick up and move. To people stuck in their home, it is one more challenge and nightmare added to the stressful situation they are already in.
We are lucky to have had somewhere to escape and that meant drastically changing our idea of a safe home for our family. We moved in to an RV and left our toxic home behind. We never would have thought about downsizing so drastically if we weren't in such a bad situation. We are one of many doing this. But it is not a long term solution. Our neighbors are pcs-ing in two months and have been working on logistics of moving an RV across the country. We are moving somewhere where we cannot take our RV and we now are stuck with selling it on short notice AND picking up the pieces in a new home since we no longer have any household goods. The RV only prolonged the inevitable of starting completely over.
To anyone who still wonders why service members just don't pick up and leave, please understand it is not that easy. So many families are being put in tough situations with financial strain and serious health impacts. To those families still stuck, do what you can to escape. We don't have solution for you at all. Leaving behind the ease, comfort, convenience, safety, and security is difficult. You are giving up so much when you should not have been put in to a situation to begin with where you would be left with these hard choices.
Here's to moving on,
B&R
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